The time of choosing the safe vs. the right-for-me came.
My first employment in the new not-even-started-yet business was my ole friends, the brothers Defence Mechanisms (DMs).*
I think I should look into the DMs deeper and elsewhen** longer. They are a big chunk to chew off my psyche cake. But for now, suffice it to say, being forced to choose felt like I was tied in a cage and wriggling to get free. I repressed the feelings, I intellectualise them (still), and so on. I chose something, just to get free, which is more than usual when I just postpone the decision. Or did I choose?
Just writing this, my level of anxiety rises. Repress, rinse, repeat. (Funny, I should call my DMs poison of choice the RRR procedure.) Continue reading The job offer, part 2: defence mechanisms