I’m Anney Bird and I’ll make two statements. First, I’m depressed. It may sound I try to make a dramatic entrance, which I do, but it’s also a complex statement, confession, implying stigma, helplessness, stupor, etc. Because it stirs ambiguous feelings on the receiver’s, and on the confessor’s side, it is not merely a statement but a confession.
Second, I’ve decided to take action and try to get rid of depression myself. (Read more about my whys…) I’ve invented an alter ego, called MOS. MOS stands for ‘my own shrink’. This is a self-help construct where I act as a therapist and a patient at the same time in makeshift therapy sessions. (See Players’ introduction.)
Even if I went to see a therapist, I’d have to do some work on my own. So, why not reverse the procedure? I might shorten (and to reduce the cost of) the professional therapy when I decide to undertake one.
Primarily, this blog is a tool with which I force myself to actively work on my issues. If I tried to do work on them while living out my everyday, everything would stay just wishful thinking.
I have also additional goals. I try to hit a few birds with one stone.
First, I want to be a writer. I’ve convinced myself that I am a writer (I’ve developed a perfect mindset), but now I need to make writing a habit. A blog should provide some incentive for this, right? Many have tried, almost everyone gave up. Do I have it in me? I’m counting on cheers 🙂
This goal competes with the goal to get rid of depression. Why, if nothing else, it’s much pleasanter than prodding into one’s suppressed emotions and willfully forgotten memories.
Second, I want to improve my English. I’m not a native speaker. Practice makes perfect. I also hope you’ll point out any blunders I make.
Third, I want to get acquainted with technology, with ever-changing social-media rules and software, which I mostly hate. But you gotta kick yourself in a butt and do it, dontcha, sometimes?
Fourth, … I’ll think of something else, just to defy the three-things-on-a-list stereotype.
My name is not really Anney Bird. Please, don’t censure me. I believe in always telling truth, but with a pen-name, I want to maintain privacy. I’ll speak about some delicate issues and this is a way to feel safe speaking about them. ‘Anney’ sounds just like ‘any’, and ‘Bird’, well, it could be a cat or a person instead of a bird, but I liked the sound of it.
And that’s how my blog becomes a comforting place for anyone else who suffers from similar problems as I do. With a pen-name representing any person, the process becomes for any person. When I’ve helped myself a bit, I hope to help you too, somehow. We’ll see how it turns out. In the meantime I’d appreciate your involvement – whether you posted a comment here and there, sent me a message or even subscribed to my (not so frequent) emails (I don’t know jet how this works, but I hope to establish a link in a month or so).