I’m reading posts from other people instead of writing my own.
It’s not procrastination. I shouldn’t be doing neither.
I should be either: a. freelancing a project that is due this week, b. going over to my office to do work I haven’t finished today and my colleague would need to do tomorrow (because I took a day off), c. baking some cake for my birthday tomorrow, or, d. sleeping (it’s 2 am in the morning).
Ad a.
I’m not freelancing because the software I need is in the room where my husband is sleeping and I don’t want to wake him. He’s quite jumpy and has trouble sleeping in general.
Ad b.
I’m not in my office because it’s 2 am. The light would attract security / Someone might need me at home. I’m anxious. (Is this my equivalent of the jumpy?)
I should go there early in the morning before anybody else gets there. But I’ll be sleepy, duh.
Ad c.
I never bake. Why should today be any different? My priorities are all mixed up.
I want everyone to praise me. I’m so vain. To praise me for baking a superb cake (which I never yet tried to bake) and to praise me for baking when I never bake.
Due to this sinful reason, I’m not succumbing to doing this task. If it were for some other reason then maybe.
Ad d.
I’m not sleeping because … why actually? Because I’m stupid, cannot decide, and by being awake I pretend I did something useful.
I procrastinate all of the above, even being sane. Because sleep means sane.
Why am I like this? I’ll hate myself so much tomorrow morning. Now I’m just incredulous.
Be well, all the sane, other ones. You people.
My Own Shrink 