I’m not dead. I’m just not present. I’m frozen in my inactivity to the point of anguish.
It’s got to do with the changing of priorities and the lack of time to do both the blog (self-therapy) and the supplanted priority (a project).
The blog, I don’t do. And the project, sure enough, I don’t do either. Because it’s all up to me and I get crushed by the responsibility, every time I got a little time to do it. And down the vicious circle I go, blaming myself for not doing it, and telling myself it’s not that hard, wondering why I don’t do it then, and telling myself I should do at least something, not doing anything, and feeling a loser.
I’m following the instructions in Dr. Burn’s book Feeling Good, and it helps a lot, not to give in to depression. But I do it only by halves, a little bit now, a little bit then, and it’s not enough to be free from anxiety.
I feel better now, to have spilled the beans. You’d ask if it was hard to write a few words. Yes it was.
P.s. I think my internet isn’t working. Another frustration.